I Will Talk, Hollywood Will Listen
(Robbie Williams and Guy Chambers)

I wouldn't be so alone
The they knew my name in every home
Kevin Spacey would call on the phone
But I'd be too busy
Come back to the old ville and dine
Cameron Diaz give me a sign
I'd make you smile all the time
Your conversation would compliment mine 

I will talk and Hollywood will listen
See them bow and my every word
Mr Spielberg look just what you're missing
Doesn't that seem a little obsurd
Bow at my every word 

Buy up the rights to my book
Live on a ranch from what the box office took
I'll go and visit the set
They'll call me their saviour
All the peoples will scorn celebrity
Lives on the moon
But, I'll be back home in June
To promote the sequel 

I will talk and Hollywood will listen
See them bow and my every word
Mr. Spielberg look just what you're missing
Doesn't that seem a little obsurd
Bow at my every word

Mack The Knife

Written by Marc Blitzstein, Kurt Weill and Bertoldt Brecht

Oh the shark has pretty teeth, dear
And he shows them pearly white
Just a jack knife has MacHeath, dear
And he keeps it out of sight 

When the shark bites with his teeth, dear
Scarlet billows start to spread
Fancy gloves though wears MacHeath, dear
So there's not a trace of red

On the sidewalk, Sunday morning
Lies a body oozing life
Someone's sneaking round the corner
Is the someone Mack the knife?

From a tug boat by the river
A cement bag's dropping down
The cement's just for the weight, dear
Bet you Mack is back in town

Louie Miller disappeared, dear
After drawing out his cash
And MacHeath spends like a sailor
Did our boy do something rash?

Sukey Tawdry, Jenny Diver
Polly Peachum, Lucy Brown
Oh the line forms on the right, dear
Now that Mack is back in town


Something Stupid
(duet with Nicole Kidman) 
Written by Carson Parks

I know I stand in line
Until you think you have the time
To spend an evening with me
And if we go someplace to dance
I know that there's a chance
You won't be leaving with me 

Then afterwards we drop into a quiet little place
And have a drink or two
And then I go and spoil it all
By saying something stupid
Like I love you

I can see it in your eyes
That you despise the same old lines
You heard the night before
And though it's just a line to you
For me it's true
And never seemed so right before

I practice every day to find some clever 
lines to say
To make the meaning come through
But then I think I'll wait until the evening
gets late 
And I'm alone with you

The time is right
Your perfume fills my head
The stars get red
And oh the night's so blue
And then I go and spoil it all
By saying something stupid
Like I love you
I love you...


Do Nothing Till You Hear From Me 
Written by Duke Ellington and Bob Russell

Do nothing till you hear from me
Pay no attention to what's said
Why one should tear the seam of anyone's dream
Is over my head 

Do nothing till you hear from me
At least consider our romance
If you should take the word of others you've heard
I haven't a chance

True, I've been seen with someone new
But does that mean that I'm untrue?
While we're apart, the words in my heart
Reveal how I feel about you

Some kiss may cloud my memory
And other arms may hold a thrill
But please do nothing till you hear it from me
And you never will!


It Was A Very Good Year
Written by Ervin Drake

When I was seventeen, it was a very good year. 
It was a very good year for small town girls and soft summer nights.
We'd hide from the light on the village green when I was seventeen.
When I was twenty-one, it was a very good year. 
It was a very good year for city 
girls who lived up the stairs
With perfume hair that came undone 
when I was twenty-one. 

When I was thirty-five, it was a very good year. 
It was a very good year for blue-blooded
girls of independent means.
We'd ride in limousines. Their chauffeurs
would drive when I was thirty-five.

But now the days are short, I'm in the 
autumn of the year 
and now I think of my life as vintage 
wine from fine old kegs
From the brim to the dregs. It poured 
sweet and clear. It was a very good year.


Straighten Up And Fly Right
Written by Nat King Cole and Irving Mills

A buzzard took a monkey for a ride in the air,
The monkey thought that everything 
was on the square.
The buzzard tried to throw the monkey 
off his back,
The monkey grabbed his neck and said, 
"Now listen, Jack..." 

Straighten up and fly right,
Straighten up and fly right
Straighten up and fly right
Cool down, papa, don't you blow your top.
Ain't no use in divin',
What's the use in jivin'?
Straighten up and fly right
Cool down, papa, don't you blow your top.

The buzzard told the monkey, 
You're chokin' me.
Release your hold and I'll set you free.
The monkey looked the buzzard right 
dead in the eye and said,
Your story's so touching, but it sounds 
jes' like a lie.

Straighten up and fly right
Straighten up and stay right
Straighten up and fly right
Cool down, papa, don't you blow your top.

Straighten up and fly right
Straighten up and stay right
Straighten up and fly right
Cool down, papa, don't you blow - your - top.



Well Did You Evah
(duet with Jon Lovitz) 
Written by Cole Porter

Have you heard? 
The coast of Maine just got caught in a hurricane?
Well did you evah? 
What a swell party this is!
Have you heard that poor dear Blanche got run down by an avalanche?
Well, did you evah? 
What a swell party this is!
What daiquiris! 
What sherry, please! 
What burgundy! 
What pommery!
Have you heard? 
Professor Munch ate his wife and divorced his lunch?
Well, did you evah? 
What a swell party this is!
Missus Smith in her new Hup crossed the bridge when the bridge was up,
Well, did you evah? 
What a swell part this is!
What brandy, wow! 
What whiskey, here's how!
What gin and what beer, 
will you sober up, dear?


Mr. Bojangles
Written by Jerry Jeff Walker

I knew a man Bojangles
And he'd dance for you
In worn out shoes 

With silver hair a ragged shirt
And baggy pants
He would do the old soft shoe

He would jump so high
Jump so high
Then he lightly touch down

He told me of the time he worked with
Minstrel shows travelling
Throughout the south

He spoke with tears of fifteen years
How his dog and he
They would travel about.

But his dog up and died
He up and died
And after twenty years he still grieved

He said "I dance now
At every chance in the Honky Tonks
For my drinks and tips

But most the time I spend
Behind these country bars
You see on I drinks a bit"

Then he shook his head
Oh lord when he shook his head
I could swear I heard someone say please

Mister Bojangles
Call him Mister Bojangles
Mister Bojangles come back and dance please

Come back and dance again Mr Bojangles


One For My Baby
Written by Harold Arlen and Johnny Mercer 

It's quarter to three, there's no one in the place
Except you and me
So set 'em' up Joe, I got a little story
I think you should know
We're drinking my friend, to the end
Of a brief episode
Make it one for my baby
And one more for the road
I know the routine, put another nickel
In the machine
I feel kind of bad, can't you make the music
Easy and sad
I could tell you a lot, but it's not
In a gentleman's code
Make it one for my baby
And one more for the road
You'd never know it, but buddy I'm a kind of poet
And I've got a lot of things I'd like to say
And if I'm gloomy, please listen to me
Till it's talked away
Well that's how it goes, and Joe I know your gettin'
Anxious to close
Thanks for the cheer
I hope you didn't mind
My bending your ear
But this torch that I found, It's gotta be drowned
Or it's gonna explode
Make it one for my baby
And one more for the road


Things
Written by Bobby Darin

Ev'ry night I sit here by my window (window)
Starin' at the lonely avenue (avenue)
Watching lovers holdin' hand 'n' laughin' (laughin')
And thinkin' 'bout the things we used to do 

CHORUS
(Thinkin' of things) Like a walk in the park
(Things) Like a kiss in the dark
(Things) Like a sailboat ride
(Yeah-yeah) What about the night we cried?
Things like a lover's vow
Things that we don't do now
Thinkin' 'bout the things we used to do

Memories are all I have to cling to (cling to)
And heartaches are the friends I'm talkin' to (talkin' to)
When I'm not thinkin' of-a just how much I love you (love you)
Well, I'm-a thinkin' 'bout the things we used to do

CHORUS

I still can hear the jukebox softly playin' (playin')
And the face I see each day belongs to you (belongs to you)
Though there's not a single sound and there's nobody else around
Well, it's-a just me thinkin' of the things we used to do

CHORUS

And the heartaches are the friends I'm talkin' to
Ya got me thinkin' 'bout the things we used to do

FADE
Starin' at the lonely avenue


Ain't That A Kick In The Head
Written by Sammy Cahn and Jimmy Van Heusen

How lucky can one guy be? 
I kissed her and she kissed me
Like the fella once said, 
"Ain't that a kick in the head?"
The room was completely black, 
I hugged her and she hugged back
Like the sailor said, quote, 
"Ain't that a hole in the boat?" 

My head keeps spinnin',
I go to sleep and keep grinnin'
If this is just the beginnin', 
my life is gonna be bee-yoo-tee-ful

I've sunshine enough to spread, 
it's just like the fella said
Tell me quick, ain't love a kick in the head?

Like the fella once said, 
"Ain't that a kick in the head?"
Like the sailor said, quote, 
"Ain't that a hole in the boat?"

My head keeps spinnin', 
I go to sleep and keep grinnin'
If this is just the beginnin', 
my life is gonna be bee-yoo-tee-ful

She's tellin' me we'll be wed, 
she's picked out a king-size bed
I couldn't feel any better or I'd be sick
Tell me quick oh, ain't love a kick?
Tell me quick ain't love a kick in the head?


They Can't Take That Away From Me
(duet with Rupert Everett)
Written by George and Ira Gershwin

There are many many crazy things
That will keep me loving you
And with your permission
May I list a few 

The way you wear your hat
The way you sip your tea
The memory of all that
No they can't take that away from me

The way your smile just beams
The way you sing off key
The way you haunt my dreams
No they can't take that away from me

We may never never meet again, on that bumpy road to love
But I'll always, always keep the memory of

The way you hold your knife
The way we danced till three
The way you changed my life
No they can't take that away from me


Have You Met Miss Jones?
Written by Lorenz Hart and Richard Rodgers

Have you met Miss Jones
Someone said as we shook hands
She was just Miss Jones to me 

Then I said Miss Jones
You're a girl who understands
I'm a man who must be free.

And all at once I lost my breath
And all at once was scared to death
And all at once I own the earth and sky

Now I met Miss Jones 
And well keep on meeting till we die
Miss Jones and I

And all at once I lost my breath
And all at once was scared to death
And all at once I own the earth and sky

Now I met Miss Jones 
And well keep on meeting till we die
Miss Jones and I
Miss Jones and I

Miss Jones and I


Me And My Shadow
(duet with Jonathan Wilkes)
Written by Dave Dreyer, Al Jolson and Billy Rose

[spoken]
Robbie: (american accent) Johnny and Robbie
Jonathon: What you talking like that for, you're from Stoke!
Robbie: I dunno but I can't stop here pally 

Like the wallpaper sticks to the wall
Like the seashore clings to the sea
Like you'll never get rid of your shadow
You'll never get rid of me 

Let all the others fight and fuss
Whatever happens, we've got us.

[Me and my shadow] 
We're closer than pages that stick in a book
We're closer than ripples that flow in a brook
[Strolling down the avenue]
Wherever you find him, you'll find me, just look
Closer than a miser or the bloodhounds to Liza


Me and my shadow 
We're closer than smog to all of L.A.
We're closer than Ricky to confessing he's gay??
Not a soul can bust this team in two
We stick together like glue

And when it's sleeping time
That's when we rise
We start to swing
Our clocks don't chime
What a surprise
They ring-a-ding-ding!
Happy New Year!

[Me and my shadow]
And now to repeat what I said at the start
They'll need a large crowbar to break us apart
We're alone but far from blue

Before we get finished, we'll make the town roar
We'll hit a few late spots, and then a few more
We'll wind up at Stringy's and maybe ? show
Life is gonna be we-wow-whee!
For my shadow and me!

[spoken]
Jonathon: Can we do that again
Robbie: No, I'm too tired
Jonathon: Please Rob
Robbie: No, I'm swung out
Jonathon: I'll give you some money
Robbie: I don't need money
Jonathon: What about a cup of tea
Robbie: Not thirsty
Jonathon: I'll won't tell anyone you're gay.
(Both Laugh)

Before we get finished, we'll make the town roar
We'll hit all the late spots, and then a few more
We'll wind up at Stringy's and maybe ? show
Life is gonna be we-wow-whee!
For my shadow and me!


Beyond The Sea
Written by Charles Trenet and Jack Lawrence

Somewhere beyond the sea
Somewhere waiting for me
My lover stands on golden sands
And watches the ships that go sailing 

Somewhere beyond the sea
He's watching for me
If I could fly like birds on high
Then straight to his arms I'd go sailing
It's far beyond a star, it's near beyond the moon
I know beyond a doubt
My heart will lead me there soon

We'll meet beyond the shore
We'll kiss just as before
Happy we'll be beyond the sea
And never again I'll go sailing
Some sailing